'SON, THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN

          YOU FUCK A STRANGER IN THE ASS!'

             

                             

Walter Sobchak:        That wasn't her toe, Dude.
The Dude:                  Whose toe was it, Walter?
Walter Sobchak:        How the fuck should I know?
                                  Nothing about it indicates...
The Dude:                  The nail polish, Walter.
Walter Sobchak:        Fine, Dude. You can get nail polish and apply it to someone else's toe.
The Dude:                 Where the fuck are they gonna get...
Walter Sobchak:        You want a toe? I can get you a toe. Believe me, there are ways, Dude. 
                                   You don't wanna know about it. I can get you a toe by 3 pm, with nail polish.
                                  These fuckin' amateurs. They send us a toe, we're supposed to shit ourselves with fear. Jesus Christ!
The Dude:                  They're gonna kill her and then me.
Walter Sobchak:         Dude... that's... That's just the stress talking, man. We have what appears to me to be a series of victimless crimes.
The Dude:                  What about the toe?
Lady:                          Could you keep your voices down? This is a family restaurant.
Walter Sobchak:         Dear, for your information, the Supreme Court has rejected prior restraint!
The Dude:                   This is not a First Amendment thing.
Lady:                          If you don't calm down, you'll have to leave.
Walter Sobchak:       
Lady, my buddies died face-down in the muck so we could enjoy this family restaurant!
The Dude:                  I'm outta here.
Walter Sobchak:        Dude, don't go away, man. This affects all of us. There are basic freedoms! I'm stayin'.
                                  I'm finishing my coffee. Enjoying my coffee.

                               

The Dude:               Walter, what is the point? Look, we all know who is at fault here, what the fuck are you talking about?
Walter Sobchak:      Huh? No, what the fuck are you... I'm not... We're talking about unchecked aggression here, dude.
Donny:                    What the fuck is he talking about?
The Dude:               My rug.
Walter Sobchak:     
Forget it, Donny, you're out of your element!
The Dude:               Walter, the chinaman who peed on my rug, I can't go give him a bill, so what the fuck are you talking about?
Walter Sobchak:      What the fuck are you talking about? The chinaman is not the issue here, Dude.
                                I'm talking about drawing a line in the sand, Dude. Across this line, you DO NOT...
                                Also, Dude, chinaman is not the preferred nomenclature. Asian-American, please.
The Dude:               Walter, this isn't a guy who built the railroads here. This is a guy...
Walter Sobchak:      What the fuck are you...?
The Dude:               Walter, he peed on my rug!
Donny:                    He peed on the Dude's rug.
Walter Sobchak:      Donny you're out of your element! Dude, the Chinaman is not the issue here!

Walter Sobchak:      Were you listening to The Dude's story, Donny?
The Dude:               Walter...
Donny:                    What?
Walter Sobchak:      Were you listening to The Dude's story?
Donny:                     I was bowling.
Walter Sobchak:      So you have no frame of reference here, Donny.
                               You're like a child who wanders into the middle of a movie and wants to know...
The Dude:               (interrupting) Walter, Walter, what's the point, man?
Walter Sobchak:      There's no reason - here's my point, dude, there's no fucking reason why these two...
Donny:                    Yeah, Walter, what's your point?

                                                         

Walter Sobchak:      ''OVER THE LINE!''
Smokey:                 Huh?
Walter Sobchak:     I'm sorry, Smokey. You were over the line, that's a foul.
Smokey:                 Bullshit. Mark it 8, Dude.
Walter Sobchak:    Uh, excuse me. Mark it zero. Next frame.
Smokey:                 Bullshit, Walter. Mark it 8, Dude.
Walter Sobchak:    Smokey, this is not 'Nam. This is bowling. There are rules.

The Dude:               Walter, ya know, it's Smokey, so his toe slipped over the line a little, big deal. 
                               It's just a game, man.
Walter Sobchak:     Dude, this is a league game, this determines who enters the next round robin.
Am I wrong? Am I wrong?
Smokey:                  Yeah, but I wasn't over. Gimme the marker Dude, I'm marking it 8.
Walter Sobchak:      [pulls out a gun] Smokey, my friend, you are entering a world of pain.
The Dude:               Walter...
Walter Sobchak:      You mark that frame an 8, and you're entering a world of pain.
Smokey:                  I'm not...
Walter Sobchak:      A world of pain.
Smokey:                  Dude, he's your partner...
Walter Sobchak:      [shouting] Has the whole world gone crazy?
                               Am I the only one around here who gives a shit about the rules? Mark it zero!
The Dude:              They're calling the cops, put the piece away.
Walter Sobchak:     
Mark it zero! 
                            
  [points gun in Smokey's face]
The Dude:               Walter...
Walter Sobchak:     [shouting] You think I'm fucking around here? Mark it zero!
Smokey:                 All right, it's fucking zero. Are you happy, you crazy fuck?
Walter Sobchak:     ...It's a league game, Smokey.

                             

The Dude:               Where the fuck are you goin'?
Walter Sobchak:      Take the ringer. I'll drive.
The Dude:               What? The what?
Walter Sobchak:      The ringer. The ringer, Dude.
The Dude:               What the...
Walter Sobchak:      Have they called?
The Dude:               What the hell is this?
Walter Sobchak:      My dirty undies, Dude. Laundry. The whites.
The Dude:               I'm sure there's a reason you brought your dirty undies.
Walter Sobchak:      The weight. The ringer cannot look empty.
The Dude:               What the fuck are you thinking?
Walter Sobchak:      You're right, Dude. I got to thinking, why should we settle for a measly fuckin' 20 grand...
The Dude:               We? You said you just wanted to come along.
Walter Sobchak:      Why should we settle for 20 grand when we can keep the entire million?
Am I wrong?
The Dude:               Yes, you're wrong. This isn't a game, man.
Walter Sobchak:      It is a game. You said so yourself. She kidnapped herself.
The Dude:               I said I thought... Dude here.
Nihilist:                    'Who is this? '
The Dude:               Dude the bagman. Where do you want us to go?
Nihilist:                    'Us? '
The Dude:               Shit! Yeah, you know, me and the driver. I'm not handling the money, driving the car...
Nihilist:                    'Shut the fuck up!
Walter:                   
Are you fucking this up?
Nihilist:                    Who is that?
The Dude:               That is the driver. I told you... Shit!
Walter Sobchak:     
What the fuck's goin' on?
The Dude:                Walter!
Walter Sobchak:      What the fuck is goin' on?
The Dude:                He hung up! You fucked it up! You fucked it up! Her life was in our hands.
Walter Sobchak:     
Easy, Dude.
The Dude:               We're screwed now. We don't get shit. They're gonna kill her. We're fucked, Walter.
Walter Sobchak:      Nothing is fucked, Dude.|You're being very unDude.
                               They'll call back. She kidnapped...
                              You see?
Nothing's fucked here, Dude.
                             
They're a bunch of fuckin' amateurs!
The Dude:               Hey, will you shut the fuck up?
                               Don't say peep while I'm doin' business here.
Walter Sobchak:     OK, Dude, have it your way. But they're amateurs.
The Dude:               Fuck.

                             

Walter Sobchak:     Is this your homework, Larry? Is this your homework, Larry?
The Dude:               Look, man...
Walter Sobchak:      Dude, please? Is this your homework, Larry?
The Dude:               Just ask him about the car.
Walter Sobchak:      Is this yours, Larry? Is this your homework, Larry?
The Dude:               Is that your car out front?
Walter Sobchak:      Is this your homework, Larry?
The Dude:               We know it's his fucking homework! Where's the fucking money, you little brat?
Walter Sobchak:      Look, Larry. Have you ever heard of Vietnam?
The Dude:               Oh, for Christ's sake, Walter...
Walter Sobchak:      You're entering a world of pain, son.
                                We know that this is your homework. We know that you stole a car.
The Dude:               And the fucking money.
Walter Sobchak:      And the fucking money. And, we know that this is your homework.
The Dude:               We're going to cut your dick off, Larry.
Walter Sobchak:      You're killing your father. All right. This is pointless. OK? It's time for plan B.
                                You might want to watch out that front window, Larry. Son, this is what happens when you fuck a stranger in the ass!
                               Little language problem here. The little prick's stonewalling me.
The Dude:               Walter! What... what are you doing, man? What are you doing?
Walter Sobchak:      Here you go, Larry. You see what happens? You see what happens, Larry?
                             
This is what happens when you fuck a stranger in the ass, Larry!
                              This is what happens, Larry! You see what happens, Larry, when you fuck a stranger in the ass?
                              This is what happens. You see what happens, Larry? You see what happens, Larry?
                              Do you see what happens, Larry, when you fuck a stranger in the ass?
                              This is what happens, Larry! This is what happens, Larry!

 

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